The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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