On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
