Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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