We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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