his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
