Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
