I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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