Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
