Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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