That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize