Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
