Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
