Swine flu. Run for my life!
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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