So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
