I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
