it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
