So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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