i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
