like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
