there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
