"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize