oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
