whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
