it hurts more in the daytime
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
