OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
