i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
