NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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