How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
