i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
