That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
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