What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
