I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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