Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
