bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
