tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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