STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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