**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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