you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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