So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
