so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
