He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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