we have pet lesbian snakes
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
