i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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