I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
