bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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