you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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