i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
