i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I am available for nakedness
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize