Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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