it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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