im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
