I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
