id be glad to
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
