I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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