Can i not drive my cunt home
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
