then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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