It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
