She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
