no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
