Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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