He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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