it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize