She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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